Disrupting the Intergenerational Cycle of Childhood Sexual Abuse

A Conversation with Ebony Williams, LMFT, Founder and Executive Director of Cactus In Bloom

“The cactus is a symbol of endurance…the ability to see beyond what is visible with our naked eyes. Cacti survive with little and even in conditions of scarcity- they can flower. These flowers that emerge can be so many things: our children, our communities and chosen families we are brave enough to shape, still holding hope after a challenging season. We can all find the light and the nurturing we need in order to bloom.” Ebony Williams, Cactus in Bloom

Tell us about Cactus in Bloom.

I founded Cactus In Bloom in 2024 after giving birth to my second child when my worlds as a Los Angeles-based therapist, survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), and mother of two collided. Often, I found myself thinking about the points at which sexual abuse carries forward to the next generation and as many survivors of CSA, I was haunted by how to have the cycle end with them. At one point in supporting other postpartum survivors who I knew needed support beyond me and whose PMDD symptoms were in-part exacerbated by the lack of trauma-informed care they experienced, I started to look for resources and found none. I couldn’t find a baby-and-me or postpartum support group that was explicitly for survivors or even inclusive in their language of this very common trauma. It also hit me that I didn’t know where I could go to ask these specific questions or who I could talk with when I was struggling with postpartum anxiety after my first child. After asking folks in my community including my own doctor at the time if anything existed, they all said no. 

It was ever so clear to me that many of the circumstances that can recreate cycles didn’t have a disrupter. In fact, many of the points of concern that I noticed in my work as a therapist as well as a parent were significant gaps in the field of reproductive justice and mental health, which often left out survivors. One key aspect is that much of the prevention work that aims at disrupting CSA often leaves out the parent survivors and some of the key moments that contribute to this cycle, such as financial insecurity, re-traumatization associated with the pregnancy and birth, a lack of support which requires difficult decisions be made, and so much more that creates the circumstances for abuse to continue. In addition, those in positions to offer care and support often don’t have the awareness or the tools to do so. As a result, Cactus In Bloom was born.

Cactus In Bloom works to increase awareness and disrupt the cycle of CSA on a systemic level by filling the gap in care for survivors of CSA and sexual violence who are family planning, perinatal, and parenting, shaping a culture that has the tools to actively disrupt childhood sexual abuse.

In your work as a therapist, you noticed that much of the prevention work that aims at disrupting childhood sexual abuse (CSA) often leaves out parent survivors. Can you speak to some of these gaps in care for survivors of CSA?

Cactus In Bloom (CIB) is survivor-led, not just because I am a CSA survivor myself but because so much of the work that is dreamed up and created is informed by those within the CIB community. Out of the stories that folks have shared with me doing this work has emerged our survivor-centered perinatal and infant care course called Albuca Bracteata, which means pregnant cactus. We have also developed our series of pamphlets with insights from survivors on common experiences during routine medical appointments, pregnancy, and parenting. I share all of this to say that in my experience as a therapist, as a mother, and leading CIB, the gaps are so significant and yet subtle. 

I listen to folks telling me about the way they were not prepared for birth even though they took a birthing class, or they weren’t prepared for what would come up for them as they potty trained their child. I listen to folks share the ways in which they were not informed about what a certain medical appointment would entail, or the ways in which experiences of a traumatic birth or feeling shamed into nursing led to so many mental health challenges with no one to speak to, and how they didn’t notice the impact on their parenting. I listen and find the space in between. I listen to where the gap is and find that often the solution is simple and a low lift with high impact. 

What would it look and feel like to design a perinatal and infant care course that centers the parent experience, that is designed with Black, Queer CSA survivors in mind, that incorporates grounding and self-regulation into every session? That focuses on key areas that most impact survivors? That normalizes their feelings and pairs them with other survivor parents who have been through this journey too? What does it mean to bring in ancestral healing and communal comfort? I have found more than anything else that when I listen, that allows the gaps to be filled in ways that feel relevant, informed, and inclusive of the voices of survivors within the community. 

When thinking about other factors that play a role in this intergenerational cycle, financial instability is a risk factor and a gap in the care available to survivors. In fact, this gap can be felt especially hard when one makes the very difficult choice to distance themselves from their abuser, which can also mean their families. This reduction in family support can mean having to pay for external child care, especially in moments when parenting is unpredictable. It can also mean unvetted care that allows you to work, or returning to familiar care – because if you are choosing between the child care and rent and food, putting food on the table and a roof over your child’s head will often win out. I wonder why even one survivor has to be put in this position at all. Why aren’t there financial resources that specifically consider this group and are designed to increase parent mental wellness, which will also increase the child’s protective factors?

These are just a few of the gaps that I see. Our mission is to make a dent in these issues and start to close the gaps.

How do you harness the power of storytelling to make change happen for survivors? 

Before I became a therapist, I came to California to attend the California Institute of the Arts to earn an MFA in Critical Studies/Writing. I used this learning space to tell the story of gender-based violence in my family from slavery to my generation through the body of a doll. I had often thought of myself as a ragdoll that has been torn, gets sewn up, and ripped up again only to be mended by staples or thread once again. This imagery helped me create some visibility around the invisible pains of violence that lay upon my body and so many in my family line – these intergenerational scars. The doll was a vehicle to tell my story, and it was healing for me to see my own pain laid out before me in writing, acknowledging it as real, and seeing my way to what can be on the other side. As a result, I know the incredible power of storytelling to be the catalyst for change. We are storytelling beings, and whether we are trying or not, we tell stories. 

I am very intentional in engaging in storytelling by sharing my own story, but also through Be The Bloom, the CIB tools-based podcast where I chat with care providers, researchers, survivors, advocates, and so many other folks who are invested in the mission of creating a culture with the tools to disrupt the cycle. While each guest speaks to their expertise and shares tools they believe care providers and listeners should know, they also share their stories of what led them to the work they are doing. Sonja Castaneda-Cudney is a CIB board member and a USC PhD candidate who, in collaboration with a team of researchers, developed the first reproductive psychiatric advanced directive for birthing people with severe mental illness. I hear the story of Ann Peralta, the founder and CEO of Partner to Decide, who developed an induction tool to empower birthing folks to make informed decisions around whether or not to have an induction. I speak with Dr. Pamela David and Gigi Barrios from Medical Safe Haven about their phenomenal practices to care for survivors who have been sex trafficked, and Theryn Kigvamasudvasthti, who speaks to what it means to parent as a Black CSA survivor and her drive to end intergenerational CSA. Theryn is a force in the movement against sexual violence injustice as the former Co-executive Director at Communities Against Rape and Abuse (CARA).

There are many other ways that storytelling is woven throughout every element of Cactus In Bloom – every program, every conversation, everything. As a survivor, so often our stories are not shared, not listened to, or co-opted where someone else is telling their version of our truth. Being a trauma-informed organization, the story has an abundance of space. I like to think that each thorn on a cactus has a story, and each bloom also tells a story. In our spaces and through our work, my hope is that we allow both stories to exist, the thorn and the bloom. 

Tell us about your training and consulting services. 

My training development experience began when I became a Posse Scholar. Through the Posse Foundation, I learned how to develop and facilitate trainings around a range of change-making topics rooted in the value of discussion and embodied learning. This has forever shaped the way that I craft learning experiences, including my work as a therapist, as a consultant for non-profit organizations who work with trauma-impacted populations, and the Cactus In Bloom training and consulting services. 

So often when facilitating a training, folks ask to be told what to do to solve a specific issue at hand. I believe in teaching folks to learn the foundational approaches and have the techniques and awareness to address any issue with wisdom. The barrier with CSA and survivors who are pregnant and birthing is often that due to such silence and shame around the topic, providers may never engage with the topic, and are not often trained on how to navigate these conversations. As a result, it may then fall on the survivor to disclose. However, many survivors may not be aware that they even experienced sexual harm, and those who are aware may not want to disclose (and should not have to), often not associating what they are experiencing in pregnancy or parenting as a response to early bodily intrusion. As a result, there is a lack of assessment for this form of trauma. It is often not considered or discussed when providing care, and there is a vast gap in existing resources as it relates specifically to one’s parenting journey. There can be no one-size-fits-all approach to such an underresourced, intersectional, and complex topic that is often impacting folks on an intergenerational level.

For our care provider training, participants are provided a spacious, trauma-informed experience where they can explore the topic of CSA grounded in embodied and experiential learning, utilizing dialogue circles and somatic techniques. We go on a collective journey, learning about the cycle of child sexual abuse, the impact into adulthood, the perinatal phase, and parenting. We offer a variety of trainings, which include specific strategies for medical/reproductive, mental health care providers, and early childhood educators. 

While it is important to have these training spaces to increase compassionate and affirming care, training alone does not guarantee application. For this reason, we offer ongoing consultation for individuals and teams to work through the use of these tools in their daily care of others and in their policy and procedures that undergird their values and commitment.

In the next months, we will be releasing our Care Provider toolkit with ways for providers who complete the CIB training to access resources and continue their learning through self-paced practice.

Lastly, in addition to the care provider training, we also have a training developed for parents and community members who want to learn how to increase the protective factors of a child against sexual abuse. Participants are invited into experiential practices with one another, preparing themselves to utilize these same practices with the children in their lives, confident and ready. 

Cactus in Bloom provides direct service support to survivors of sexual violence. What does this support look like?

Cactus In Bloom offers direct support for survivors, which includes Albuca Braceteata (which means Pregnant Cactus), our Perinatal and Infant care course crafted with universal design foundations – knowing when we develop programs or services, we must do so for the most under-resourced. Participants are paired with a support mentor, also a survivor and a parent, who can be a touch point to continue resourcing that family at least six months postpartum. Our Thought partnership consulting services provide space for survivors to get insight and resources along their journey from family planning to parenting across all phases. It’s an opportunity to take what is often dealt with in silence and speak it into a space with another. Our Mycorrhizal Network does similar work around collective sharing but in a group setting, bringing together survivors to share their wisdom, experience, and support with other survivors through dialogue circles that ultimately create open-source informational material.

Over the next months, Cactus In Bloom will be building out a user-friendly digital survivor toolkit which will offer a single space for survivors to explore resources developed by Cactus In Bloom and partner organizations.

Folks can gain access to these direct supports by joining the CIB network. 

What else would you like to share with us about the important work you are doing?

Right now, we are developing a few projects we hope you keep an eye out for:

• We are in collaboration with Maternal Mental Health Now to offer a self-paced Cactus In Bloom training on their platform this summer. Fill out this form to be notified when the training is available.
• Our What To Expect series, an open-access video library that aims to reduce medical sexual assault, invites folks seeking care to hear from all kinds of providers about common practices, red flags, and resources.

The gaps are so big in this work, and we will continue to generate new ways to fill the gaps and meet our mission. We hope to connect with you, and together we can see what blooms.

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Interview conducted by Postpartum Support International’s Samantha Reaves, MA, PMH-C.

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